one of the funniest damn Christmas posts I'd read in any blog this season when I woke up on my Friday off before xmas and realized "Holy Cow, I'm living that damn Family Circle Christmas in a Weekend! At least i got to sleep in today, while Brian took the kids to school, but I did have to haul myself out of bed to start wrapping presents before they came home from the half day. Just once, I'd like to have this whole Christmas thing wrapped up, literally and figuartively, before 11:59 Christmas eve!
And I did it! We got the gifts wrapped, we got the house picked up, the tree is up, check, ornaments on, check, excuses for not having done christmas cards made, check, friends notified that the Christmas party won't be until late January, check-a-rooonie! Time to have some fun! I even got the kids out of the house (they were going stir crazy in this ucky, rainy day), went to the Y where the kids got to play and got a massive workout in, sat in the whirlpool until I was fully chlorinated, got home, sneakily wrapped Brian's gift right under his nose, found a frozen pizza which we had for dinner and even got a nap in!
I deserved to go out and see the Mighty Lumberhorn's Xmas Xtravaganza as I promised myself i would do sometime, and they did not disappoint. Started off the evening with a lovely celtic thingy that Heather plays in. I paid my $6, was issued a kazoo, and took a seat by the bar, where I was joined by Paul "The Fly" Lawson and settled in for a cold winter's night.
Hmmm. How to describe. Boy Howdy's wearing a loud red jacket trimmed in garland and christmas lights (which you couldn't tell under stage lights, but when he wandered about the audience it was as though those scary ambulatory trees in the Wizard of Oz had come alive and gotten friendly) and used one of those giant wreath ribbons as a bow tie. Every time i see that guy, I keep saying to myself, "I must learn to play Theme From Deliverance." BJ steps on stage looking like Santa dropped in on Shaq's party, and they took ol Mr Claus down Wisconsin Avenue to pick up some more stylin' threads, because I pointed at him and asked "Did you get that jacket at Johnnie Walkers?"
Yes, he did and could prove it.
Anyway, they jump into the set. Fly and I pretty much agreed that besides their standard stuff (like the Mighty Deerlick the week before, I can't tell if their stage banter is scripted, or if they're that clever off the cuff all the time) what was worth more the price of admission: Fly argues strongly for Heather's rendition of "Away in a Manager" accompanied by the band making all sorts of animal sounds that you'd normally hear in a manger, an old haiku by basho going through my head. My vote still goes for BJ's introduction of ("this song has no redeeming value except for commercialism") and rendition of that awful piece of McCartney claptrap, "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime." They start it out with just this dirge of syncopated eighth notes, ("..do you recognize it?" BJ teases us, begetting the obvious reply "do we WANT to recognize it?") and then start singing and I've almost got tears in my eyes from laughing.
Audience participation included kazoo renditions of that "bells ring-a -ling- ting-a ling" song that nobody knows the words to, so you might as well just do it on kazoos. They still had a rather short set, so we called out for the hits and managed to convince them to stay on stage for at least fifteen more minutes. But its probably best that they didn't play right up until bar time. No matter what, I know that Sammy's going to be waking me up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning, so its best I get some sleep.