OK, among my demons is my weight. I've lost 50 pounds before, but I'm stuck. So a month ago I went to the doctor and we ran some blood tests and ruled out anything like a messed up thyroid or anything like that. No, my metabolism isn't messed up. Darn it. Would've been nice to get some drug and let my thyroid do all the work. Naahh. It's probably better, because even if I had a crappy thyroid, I still have horrible eating habits that I would not have corrected.
So tomorrow I have an appointment with a nutritionist. Its coming up on Christmas season, what a wonderful time to begin a new eating program. (You learn in Weight Watchers its not a diet, its an eating program. It’s a behavior. Its ….. Its…. Oh nuts, it’s a diet.) We'll talk, and then I'll remind this person I've heard this before and at this point, I don't know where to go with this, but I've got to do something. Its out of control.
So, before I leave the office today, I bought a final fundraising sized Butterfinger, and snarfed it
down, the way an alcoholic gets wasted the night before they hit their first AA meeting. I didn’t even crave the sugar or chocolate. I just did it because this is going to be the last time that I could. The last time I will eat something just because it is there.